Today I spent much of the day working ahead. A least it felt that way . . . I do have a deadline looming, but I am on track to get my work done with plenty of time for revisions before I submit.
This is how it goes when I am feeling on my game. Many are the times when I finish in the nick of time, stressed out and bedraggled. But the holiday season has afforded me the time to focus on just the projects at hand. I am quite grateful.
By the way, I am posting this from my iPad using a program called BlogPress. So if it looks funny, you will know why.
Last night, my 12-year-old son and I were spending some quiet time together before bed. I feel lucky in that we both were sort of in a contemplative mood, and we began asking each other questions. Things like:
“Name two things you are proud of about yourself.”
“What two places would you like to visit, where you have never been?”
“Your favorite two friends and why?”
“What three living people would you like to meet?”
“What three historical figures would you like to meet?”
I hasten to point out that this is not a normal occurrence in our house. We don’t sit around talking philosophy all the time — we’re just as likely to be found watching the latest episode of Fringe or checking out Ellen.
But, last night, everything sort of lined up and we were on a roll. In the moment, I remember getting shivers. I knew this would be a moment I would look back on. As a parent, it was awesome.
Then, as bed time was drawing near, we were sort of winding down. Then my son asked me this question:
“Say you were on Oprah. What two questions would you like her to ask you, and how would you answer them?”
I opened my mouth to answer. Closed it. Opened it again. Closed it. Stayed thinking for a while.
I realized I did not know the answer to that. It’s an excellent question. In essence, my son was asking me, “What two things do you want to tell people?”
What a wonderful, expansive, meaningful question. Even the choices we make about how to approach it hold meaning. Do I want to tell you about my philosophy of life (if I have one)? The big lesson I have learned? Do I want to tell a story about something I love? Do I want to share knowledge?
I just didn’t know. Today, the morning after, I am still unsure. But now I have an excellent tool for self-reflection. What are my “Oprah answers?”
Yesterday, after long delays, I finally got my Square card reader, so I thought I would put it through its paces.
What is Square? It’s a way of accepting payments from regular people using credit cards. You get this little card reader that just plugs into your smartphone.
It is dead simple. Let’s say you just sold your friend an old Ace of Base CD. They don’t have cash. You just insert the little card reader doohickey into your smartphone, punch in the sale price, and swipe his card. He signs and that’s it. You get your money (minus a small percentage) deposited into your bank account each week (up to about $1,000, beyond that they make other arrangements).
I like this service, though it might not be for everyone. I like it because it is one less reason to carry cash around, and the mechanics of making it work are pretty seamless. Plus, the equipment is as small as a single die.
Here’s a demo video of me paying myself, to show you how it works:
Over the weekend, I accompanied my son to Brickfair 2010 at the Dulles Expo Center. Brickfair is a completely fan-driven annual conference. People come together to share their love of Legos, to show of scenes and models they have built, and to swap bricks.
Daniel and his friend Jeremy had created a rock concert model, a show by a fictitious band called The Sharks. It was complete with a crowd surfer, light show, and a sound booth. I was proud to see it gathering lots of interest and some news cameras too.
The whole thing fascinated me, so I made this video while I was there:
As I mention in the video, Brickfair puts me in mind of Clay Shirky’s idea of cognitive surplus. It’s not exactly the same thing, but the basic thrust is similar.
More fundamentally, though, Brickfair (and the huge number of other fan-driven conferences across a variety of interests) are testament to the idea that people like to make and share. The Internet has made it easier to organize situations where people can get together and do that — and do it while they don’t happen to be together, too.
Google Voice is often referred to as the “one number to rule them all” service. That does not really describe what the service does — or can do. I have been a user of the service since it began (and used its predecessor, Grand Central, before that). Some of my friends have asked me about the ins and outs, so I thought I would gather my thoughts here.
'Project 365 #25: 250109 It's Good to Talk!' by Flickr user comedy_nose
Google Voice is especially useful to solopreneurs, or anyone with a highly mobile lifestyle.
And, while there are a number of creative things you can do with Google Voice, I am going to focus here on the two main ways to use it in that context: as a front-end, and as a back-end.
What Is It?
Google Voice is not a telephone service per se. It’s a telephone number, along with routing capabilities. What does that mean? It means that once you have signed up, you are given a telephone number. You can then sign in, and add your existing numbers (cell phones, home, office, others) to your account. Then, you can tell Google Voice to ring certain of your real phones when people call your Voice number.
Google Voice also comes with voicemail, and it transcribes your messages for you. You can also send SMS messages (texts) through it.
To make a call, you use the Web interface to tell Vice what number you would like to call, and from what phone you would like to make the call. Google Voice then calls your phone and the recipient phone. You can also do this just through the phone, by calling your Voice number and pressing 2.
There is an Android app for Voice, and it integrates very will with your Google contacts list.
Google Voice is a free service, though it is “closed beta,” which means you need someone who is a current user to invite you.
Google Voice As Front End
This is the way a lot of people use Google Voice, and it’s where the whole “one number” thing comes from. The idea is to replace all your numbers with your Google Voice number — everyone, no matter who, gets that one number. Current contacts are told that your number has changed, and you ask them to call the new number. The Google Voice number is your “phone face.”
Then, behind the scenes, you can tell Google Voice how you want to handle things. You can tell it to automatically ring your office phone during certain hours, and your home phone other times. You can set it to go straight voicemail at night. Or, you can ring your cell phone and office phones simultaneously (so people don’t have to dial multiple phones to get you). You can also set it so that certain callers go to your home number, and others to your work number.
The benefits of this are that you never have to change your number again, whether you move, get a new cell phone or whatever. You also have a great deal of control about whom you talk to — if there are certain callers you’d rather not ever deal with, they can go straight to voicemail.
The downside is that it can take some discipline in the transition: it’s tempting to call someone back on your cell phone, but then they will have your cell number and will want to use that. So you should use the Voice system instead, which is an extra step.
Google Voice As Back End
The other way to use Google Voice is to take advantage of the sophisticated voicemail functions and use it as a universal Inbox for all voice messages. To do this, you set Google Voice on “Do Not Disturb.” Now, any call coming into Google Voice will go right to voicemail, and you will then get a transcribed email with attached audio file.
Then, you set your various regular phone numbers to autoforward to Google Voice after a certain number of rings. In other words, you turn off all your other voicemail systems. So what’s happening is that if I don’t answer a phone, it automoatically kicks over to Google Voice voicemail and I get that message emailed to me.
The benefit of this approach is that you basically never have to check voicemail, and every voicemail ends up in the Inbox you use every day. And, you don’t have to tell people to call a new number. Finally, you can use your Google Voice number as throwaway number for telemarketers, etc., because you will never answer it.
A downside for many people is that it takes some set up, in a number of different phone systems, to get this all working smoothly. Also, many people are aware that Google Voice’s transcription capabilities can sometimes be lacking (or maybe it’s people’s ability to enunciate). You can get some pretty funny transcriptions. However, it’s almost always correct when it comes to transcribing numbers, and at a minimum you can get the gist of someone’s message, and determine if you really need to listen to it or not.
Because so many people have various numbers, I have opted to use Google Voice as a back-end to my phone system, and it has been working well for me. I’ve been thinking of switching to the front-end approach, because I think it’s more powerful if I can discipline myself to use it properly.
How about you? Do you use Google Voice? How? How does it work for you? There are more advanced things you can do with this service, too — do you take advantage of any unusual tricks? Let me know in the comments!
(P.S. I have a few invites available, if you really think you will use it and would like one, let me know. I will give priority to my friend and to my Rockville neighbors.)
As my friends on Facebook know, I recently turned off the voicemail on our home telephone line. Even though I had a fairly stern outgoing message that informed people they should not expect a message to reach us timely, people were still leaving messages and getting miffed when we didn’t call back. But the thing was, everyone in the family uses their mobile phones — the home line is an afterthought. We never check the voicemail and rarely use it. (I am keeping the line for emergency purposes, in case you were wondering why we did not simply join the 25% of American households who have no landline phone.)
'#ACRTW - Sunday brunch in London with friends.' by Flickr user Andrew Currie
I got to thinking about “home” phones and “office” phones and “mobile” phones as I filled out a few forms today. I was being asked to provide a bunch of different numbers. I know that the purpose is to make it easy to reach me. But in my case, asking for a bunch of numbers from me makes it harder to reach me, because the best way to reach me is to call my cell. Period. (I do use Google Voice, and will be writing an article about different ways to use that in a few days.)
Why did people call our “home” line and try to leave a message, even though we asked them not to? Habit. Why do organizations ask for a series of numbers, even though most people could just as easily provide one number and be just as reachable? Habit.
Old Habits
Well, “habit” might not be the right word. It’s that our norms have not quite caught up with reality. Norms are powerful things. They direct what we do, often subconsciously. For instance, in filling out my forms, the thought crossed my mind that it would be most useful if I just put the same number in “work,” “home,” and “mobile” fields. But I didn’t (now I wish I did).
More and more, even people who have a “traditional” job are reachable in ways that they never used to be. Signals reach us immediately, regardless of time of day. It used to be important to know different numbers for people, so you could use different mechanisms based on time of day — not so much anymore. Chances are that calling the office number at 10:00 pm will engage the auto-forward, or you will leave a voicemail that will immediately ping the recipient. Either way, that late night “work call” is going to interrupt the recipient’s enjoyment of Bones – because they may well be sitting there on the sofa with their phone in hand, checking emails and sending texts while they watch.
New Norms
Some years ago I used to spend my Sunday afternoons “getting a jump on the week.” I would tidy up anything that had been left undone from the week prior, and send out emails that would be waiting for people when they arrived at the office on Monday. Slowly, life changed. I realized that my Sunday emails were being read Sunday, mere moments after being sent. Far from getting things in place for Monday, I was ruining peoples’ weekends. I confess I “discovered” this because it happened to me! I decided to stop ruining other peoples’ weekends in the hopes that the good Karma might come back to me. So far, it hasn’t happened yet, but I can hope.
It’s not that I was being rude intentionally. Nor is it the case the people who reach out to me professionally on Sundays are being rude. It’s not like they want me to actually work on Sunday; they are just sending me a note. Used to be that was a good way to make sure someone had whatever they needed to start the week. Now, such messages have negative consequence that they did not used to have.
My habits have not yet fully caught up with reality. If I stopped to think, I would know that even when people have a work email and a personal email, chances are their work email is beeping through to them wherever they happen to be. I just didn’t think about it, because this work habit is ingrained, and supported by the longstanding norm of separation between work life and home life — a separation that exists less and less.
I think lots of us are in this boat.
Now that communications are seamless and unified, we need to begin to develop new norms about how we deal with one another:
Organizations might ask for the “best number to reach” me, not presume that my home number is best in the evening, work is best in the day, and cell is to be used if the others don’t work.
As colleagues, if we decide to work on Sunday, we might consider holding our emails in the Draft folder and firing them off on Monday morning.
As professionals, we might consider establishing ways of unplugging, and of making it clear when we are unavailable — not to be rude but so others know how best to interact with us.
But I am an avid runner, and had not yet tried them out on the road. Well, I did try them once and got blisters. So. I thought I would do some research and a little training and see if I could run in them for real. Answer: yes. Here is my assessment:
As you can see, they are working out very well for me. The key is to train yourself to have the proper gait — looking up “barefoot running” can help get some pointers. I describe the key ones in the video.
I don’t always go in for New Year’s Resolutions. Too often they have felt like empty promises to turn over some new leaf. This year, instead of resolutions I have decided to think about the kind of person I want to be.
When I look back on 2010, where would I like to be able to say I made progress?
Part of that is informed by who I want to be and how I see myself, and part is informed by where I am and whatever struggles or successes I may be facing right now.
Above all, it has to do with how I want to relate myself to those around me and my community.
For me, it’s about breaking out of wherever I am, and moving into the next place I’m going. How will I get there? By what means will I break free?
Here are my three top areas for growth for the year:
Have good, consistent habits. I tend to work in bursts and respond to things when necessary. But I have learned that consistency pays off in almost every respect. I can accomplish more over time than I can in an all-nighter. So I will plan out my days and weeks. I’ll be realistic about what I can accomplish and I will place a premium on day-in, day-out actions instead of hoping to get things done in quick bursts. I know what I should be doing day to day. I will develop the habits of doing those things.
Reach out to others honestly. I tend to isolate when left to my own devices. I get wrapped up in my computer screen, wrapped up in my own pursuits. I spend too much time thinking about myself. When I interact with people it is too often all surface and not enough substance. I will work against this bias and try to make sure I connect fully with someone every day.
Cheerfully accept and meet obligations. It’s easy for me to try to avoid and shirk. It’s even possible to do this and not be seen as shirking! But I know inside when I am actively seeking and fulfilling obligations and when I am holding back and reluctantly responding when called on. Yet, I am happiest when serving others. I will actively look for ways to help those around me.
Those are not the only resolutions for me this year, but they are the big ones. How about you?
Last night, walking through a restaurant, as I passed by about ten tables I noticed six where the diners had their smartphones sitting on the table as they ate. Some were deep in texting someone, others just had them out there, at the ready. Outside, there was a pair of people standing next to one another, clearly together, yet each busy texting someone else.
Skating over the holidays at New York’s Rockefeller Center, America’s skating rink, one can’t help noticing in the crowd of tourists and locals that everywhere someone is peering into a little screen in a gloved hand. A boy waiting in line one switchback ahead plays a Game Boy, pumping his fist after each tiny victory. Fellow tourists, armed with digital cameras, ask my group to take pictures of them with the gigantic New York City Christmas tree and the statue of Prometheus in the background.
Down on the ice, there is a dangerous clot of people obstructing traffic. Skating abandoned, they, too, are after shots of the tree. They stand shakily, arms outstretched, tiny viewscreens glowing. Skaters notice the hazard at the last moment. Some duck. Many slip, fall, or collide with other skaters. Everybody has a tiny helper, a gadget to enhance or capture the experience.
Does it help? Are people having more fun?
"Texting" by Flickr user kiwanja
Since that time, the ubiquity of our tiny helpers, these screens, has increased. Everywhere we go, we have them by our side, at the ready. They used to be poised to capture the moment. Now they are ready for us to communicate with people we are not now with. It’s like every dinner party is really two conversations – the one I have with you, in front of me, and the one I am having, or ready to have, with my “peeps,” who are scattered far and wide.
I am as much a culprit of this as anyone else. And, it is important to note the upsides of this ubiquitous connection-to-elsewhere. At any given time, there can be a wide-ranging conversation going on, no matter where I am.
But, as with ubiquitous photo-taking, it’s easy to use our online connections to take us away from our present situation — to get out. There’s no bright line when it comes to that. At what point does a quick text at the table become ignoring your dinner date?
I try to have rules for myself. Not at the table. Not if I am in a one-on-one conversation. Not unless I ask first. These help, but still, sometimes they don’t seem like enough.
However, like most, I am not prepared to completely give up these constant connections. Modern social norms will simply have to catch up, which they have not yet done.
Over the next five years or so, I am certain we will see social norms and etiquette catch up. We’ll know when it is OK and when it is not. For now, though, it’s like the Wild West.
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine about some things that were troubling me. I was unhappy with the behavior of others. As we discussed the situation, it became clear that the behavior may well have been driven by others’ reactions to my own behavior.
“You can’t control what they do,” said my friend, “but you can control what you do.” In retrospect, this is very straightforward advice — yet, in the moment, it’s often hard to see.
What’s even more difficult, is to know what it is I can control. My friend gave me a list that has proven to be very, very helpful. I thought you might find it useful.
These are the things that I can control:
Attitude: What do I bring to the situation? What are my expectations?
Effort: Am I just coasting along at half steam, or am I all in?
Tone: Do I say the correct things, yet clothe them in sarcasm or smugness?
Motives: Do I have hidden motives, such as vanity or pride?
Thoughts: Am I harboring negative thoughts about others?
Actions: Regardless of my intentions, are my actions helpful?
Reactions: How do I react to what others do? Is it helpful?
If I can keep these elements in check, I can know that if others behave in ways I don’t like, or that cause me problems, it’s not my own fault but something else. I can know that my own side of the street is clean.
Now, I just need to keep this front and center for when I really need it!
I don’t always go in for New Year’s Resolutions. Too often they have felt like empty promises to turn over some new leaf. This year, instead of resolutions I have decided to think about the kind of person I want to be.
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